My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
