Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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