Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
