I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
