I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize