I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
