I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize