Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
