Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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