you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
