So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
