I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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