Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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