God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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