Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Randomize
