I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize