Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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