i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Found the puke drawer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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