thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can't just leave with hair like that
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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