I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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