So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
