i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
