Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
