I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
