So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
