she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
