ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
