I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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