This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
