can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
