no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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