I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
