im six kinds of drunk right now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
