i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
4 words: hood of his car
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
