all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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