Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
