Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
