Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
