I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
