Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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