Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
