Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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