Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
