the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
