8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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