Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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