They should really pass out barf bags in church
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
