dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
