So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
