The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
