it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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