you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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