If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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