are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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