OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
