the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
