So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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