I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
