so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am one with the molecules
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
there is glitter all over my balls
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
