She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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