Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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