when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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