I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
