i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i will never coherently bang her
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
