I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
