I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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