My cat gives me a boner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
