ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
