i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
