a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize